All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
