Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
