his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
