Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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