So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
