Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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