I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
