The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
