I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
