Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
handjob tips. give me some.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
