god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
