I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
