Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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