Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
