...so i touched it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
