i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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