bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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