he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
