i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
