My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
