is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
