I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
