my mouth tastes like poor choices
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
