ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
