im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
