After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
