Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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