I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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