we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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