direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
