He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
