Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
