I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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