Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
