He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
