my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
