we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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