THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
