I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I faked an abortion last night.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
home. puking in laundry basket.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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