She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
