Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
