And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
