glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
