All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
