I love black thongs
barbara walters just said penis...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
