just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he told me I talked like a deaf person
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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