Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
