Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
