on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
