Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
