New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
