and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
