everyone is single if you try hard enough
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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