We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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